I guess in a strange and subconscious way I've always relied on my older brother to check my identity. Ever since middle school, really, his blatant criticism has made my personality slowly morph into one that so closely resembles his own. His two years on me made his friends and identity appear so falsely sophisticated and almost, if I may exaggerate to an aggravating degree, unattainably perfect. My so terribly misperceiving lens into his life led me to take all his digging remarks to heart - not without a whine first, of course.
Anyways, it's not as though now that I truly understand his identity I am suddenly bitter. Quite the contrary actually. I'm strangely grateful for his critique and my naivety. I can truthfully say that without our skewed relationship I would be your typical high school sophomore on a pitiful hunt for "popularity." I don't even know where I'm going with this...
The point is, earlier this month my brother was expressing his concern for our younger brother's future (who is currently in 7th grade and very different from the majority of 14 year olds to say the least) when he leaves for college in a few months because at this point my younger brother baises as many of his opinions and actions off of what my older brother deems suitable. During this talk, I found myself pondering the deep impact he has had on me and started to become mildly concerned for my own identity: Am I too much of an offset of my brother? This led to a much broader question: Given that no one is born with their current personality (unless you are in your first year of life, in which case bravo for being so literate at such a young age), how much is too much influence from a single person or group? Or.. Is there really such thing as too much influence? Are others' impacts on you just a way of self discovery, finding what you love and the people you admire?
Let me know what you think, nonexistent followers. Sorry if this post is pathetic. I will unquestionably read this in around a year and be absolutely mortified.
Anyways, it's not as though now that I truly understand his identity I am suddenly bitter. Quite the contrary actually. I'm strangely grateful for his critique and my naivety. I can truthfully say that without our skewed relationship I would be your typical high school sophomore on a pitiful hunt for "popularity." I don't even know where I'm going with this...
The point is, earlier this month my brother was expressing his concern for our younger brother's future (who is currently in 7th grade and very different from the majority of 14 year olds to say the least) when he leaves for college in a few months because at this point my younger brother baises as many of his opinions and actions off of what my older brother deems suitable. During this talk, I found myself pondering the deep impact he has had on me and started to become mildly concerned for my own identity: Am I too much of an offset of my brother? This led to a much broader question: Given that no one is born with their current personality (unless you are in your first year of life, in which case bravo for being so literate at such a young age), how much is too much influence from a single person or group? Or.. Is there really such thing as too much influence? Are others' impacts on you just a way of self discovery, finding what you love and the people you admire?
Let me know what you think, nonexistent followers. Sorry if this post is pathetic. I will unquestionably read this in around a year and be absolutely mortified.
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